To the One I Love the Most

Growing up, my relationship with my mum was tough and tense for various reasons. She was hard on me because, as her first child, she expected strength and boldness — traits she possessed in abundance. However, I differed slightly from her expectations. I was the kind to easily get frustrated over minor inconveniences and was very introverted.

Our relationship only began to strengthen when I moved back to Nigeria in 2018. By this time, I had also grown into myself, becoming more confident and determined. Now, I consider my mum my best friend and can discuss anything with her.

This close relationship has meant learning and unlearning so much about her. I’ve always seen my mum as the strongest person I know. I never saw her cry — not when she was shot during a robbery (thankfully, she survived) or when she lost her older sister. It was only recently that she revealed she chose not to cry in front of us, her children, during those difficult times and sometimes cried in private.

In honor of Love Day, here are some ways my favorite person (my mum) inspires me:

Hard Work

Despite not having a college degree and growing up in a lower-middle-class family, my mum single-handedly raised four girls while working more than 12 hours a day.

In the late ’90s, during Nigeria’s internet boom, she made her mark in the computer hardware industry, traditionally dominated by men. Her journey began with selling computer components, such as RAMs and hard drives, in 1998. She expanded her business to include mobile phones by 2001 alongside entities like SLOT.

Watching her adapt to the evolving tech landscape by diversifying into servers, laptops, and all necessary computer components has shaped my work ethic.

Strength

Her strength is evident not just in how she maintained a brave face and shielded us from her problems while we were growing up but also in how she handled them.

I saw her navigate significant misogyny with dignity, both in her professional life and as a homeowner, gaining the respect of her peers.

Despite facing challenges such as multiple robberies and people she trusted stealing from her, which nearly led to bankruptcy, she persevered.

Selflessness

She volunteers to clean her church every Saturday, not out of obligation (the church hires cleaners) but out of a desire to contribute. Regardless of whether she is sick, sad, or angry, she never misses this ritual.

Almost every month, she encourages us to financially help someone or dedicate time to volunteer, focusing on children and women. She has helped several women escape disheartening situations like domestic violence and poverty.

It is because of my mum that I am now intentional about creating safe spaces for women, whether through a community I founded, Hersynergy Tribe, or by organizing girls’ nights.

Compassion

What I adore about my mum is how she instilled in her children the value of leading with compassion. This has influenced how she raised us and her expectations for us.

My mum took a different approach than some parents in Nigeria. She didn’t insist we follow certain careers. She supported me when I wanted to be a doctor and later when I chose economics. She was just as supportive when my little sister wanted to study theatre arts.

Problem Solving

My mum can find a solution to almost any problem. Whether it’s recommending the best hangover remedy or coming up with strategies to build wealth, she’s always there with practical advice, solicited or not.

I write a daily gratitude list in my journal, and my mum frequently makes the list because I’m beyond grateful for her. Having a mother like mine is arguably the best gift anyone could ask for. Happy love day! x